Read sample plays from the “Short Plays by Short People Project”
Let Me Be Dull
a play by Kelvin Richardson
TIME: 11:30 am Summer 2009
PLACE: Balboa High School-in a Social Studies class in summer school
AT RISE: Deion Jr, a 14 year old boy, is sitting down at a desk with CJ the pencil
DEION JR.
CJ wake up! Come on wake up!
CJ
OK! OK! What do you need me for this time?
DEION JR.
I need you to draw me the most beautiful rose you can so I can impress Melissa.
CJ
OK, but after this will I be able to go back to sleep?
DEION JR.
Yeah, for the next 50 minutes before I have to transfer to my next class.
(CJ is sitting there sketching out the rose when all of a sudden the bell rings. DEION stands.)
CJ stop! We have to get to the next class.
CJ
Deion you just messed me up. I was almost done.
DEION JR.
(He holds up the drawing.)
Hey Melissa look at this picture.
(Melissa keeps walking.)
Hey CJ did you see that? She did not even look at the picture.
CJ
She must not like you.
DEION JR.
I will not stop until she does.
CJ
How can I help you? What else could I do?
DEION JR.
First, I will sharpen you.
CJ
AHHHHHH! (CJ screams.) Do not sharpen me. I am scared.
DEION JR.
Na ah you shouldn’t be scared. If I sharpen you, you will be the most pointiest pencil in the school.
(DEION walks away to get the sharpener.)
CJ
(CJ talks to the audience.)
You guys have to help me. Do not let Deion put me in the sharpener. Last time I was put in the sharpener my old owner Marvin had broken my lead seventeen times. I never want to be put in the sharpener again. He put me in the sharpener. He said it would not hurt. So I said it was ok. He slowly put me in and all of a sudden I heard these loud grinding noises and I just got smaller and smaller. I never want to be put in the sharpener again.
(DEION returns and whispers to the audience.)
DEION JR.
Hey guys, when CJ goes to sleep I am going to use a hand sharpener so the loud noises won’t scare him. But if he wakes up then he will not be able to trust me and I will have no friends if he leaves me. I know. I’ll beg!
(He gets down on his knees and talks to CJ.)
CJ, please let me sharpen you.
CJ
No! I’m too afraid.
DEION JR.
It’ll only be for a few seconds.
(CJ ignores him.)
Fine, if you don’t let me sharpen you then I will use a different pencil.
CJ
(CJ is shocked.)
No, please don’t. I would be heartbroken if you used another pencil.
DEION JR.
I don’t care how you would feel. You have to get sharpened because that rose you drew was messed up because you were dull.
CJ
(CJ is extremely hurt.)
Deion, I did not appreciate that. If you only knew how much pain I went through when I was sharpened before, you would know why I wouldn’t want to be sharpened again.
DEION JR.
Please? Just this one time and it will never happen again.
CJ
What will you do for me?
DEION
If you let me sharpen you I will repaint you.
CJ
What else?
DEION JR.
I will get you one of those super 3000 Office Depot erasers.
CJ
Something more amazing.
DEION JR.
Fine, I will get you a Crayola pencil soul mate.
CJ
(CJ starts to weep.)
Deion, you really would?
DEION JR.
I’ll do anything if you let me sharpen you so you can draw an orchid for Melissa.
CJ
Come on let’s go to that sharpener.
DEION JR.
I will hold you by the eraser.
(DEION and CJ walk together towards the sharpener.)
THE END
Can and Bush: The Weirdest Battle
Can and Bush: The Weirdest Battle
a play by Kent Diao
TIME: 5 pm Autumn, 2005
PLACE: On an island in a small garden with lots of plants, bushes and a river flowing through it
AT RISE: We see Elsmoosho, the squashed up can waking up from sleep.
ELSMOOSHO
What a nice day to take a walk in the ol’ garden.
(George the bush enters.)
GEORGE
I wonder what that piece of jacked up can is doing here stinking up my garden!
ELSMOOSHO
Hi! Do you know where I can get some water? I’m thirsty from this burning sun.
GEORGE
Look bub, you can get water anywhere but here you dirty rotten piece of messed up hobo can!
ELSMOOSHO
Well fine! I don’t want your filthy water!
GEORGE
Then go!
ELSMOOSHO
I can’t believe that dude is so mean.
SCENE TWO
TIME: 10:00 pm
PLACE: The garden
AT RISE: We see Elsmoosho sneaking in the garden
ELSMOOSHO
If I can’t have some water, I’ll steal it
(George wakes up.)
! Uh oh!
GEORGE
Alright who’s there!?!
ELSMOOSHO
I better get out of here!
GEORGE
Well you better!
SCENE THREE
TIME: 7:00 am
PLACE: The garden
AT RISE: We see George guarding the river
GEORGE
That can better not come!
ELSMOOSHO
LOOK WHY DON’T YOU LET ME DRINK?
GEORGE
Because you’re too dirty!!!
ELSMOOSHO
Well, you can’t blame me! I’ve become dirty over time. I used to be a clean Coke can all shiny and colorful. But then I got scrunched up and left here on the ground. I’ve been sitting here for three years getting kicked around becoming litter.
GEORGE
How about I clean you up and you help me.
ELSMOOSHO
What do I help you with?
GEORGE
Help make my garden better.
ELSMOOSHO
Then you’re getting the better part of the deal!
GEORGE
Fine then, don’t take my deal!
ELSMOOSHO
OK then you bush!
GEORGE
At least I’m not a can! Ha!
ELSMOOSHO
Good day! No wait, bad day!
SCENE FOUR
TIME: 6:00 pm
PLACE: The garden
AT RISE: We see Elsmoosho dressed up as Mr. T
ELSMOOSHO (A.K.A. Mr.T)
I pity da foo who don’t share his water!
GEORGE
Nice try bum!
ELSMOOSHO
Rrrr! I am going to punch you!
(The blow lands. George becomes unconscious.)
That oughta teach him! What is that noise?
(Nuclear bomb falls. They both go to heaven.)
SCENE FIVE
TIME: 10:00 pm
PLACE: Heaven
AT RISE: They are on a cloud arguing
GEORGE
I know you blew up the city just to get away from me! Well, guess what, I made it to heaven!
ELSMOOSHO
I wonder if I could blow up heaven?
GEORGE
You better not!
ELSMOOSHO
Watch me!
(Elsmoosho takes a bomb and blows up heaven.)
SCENE SIX
TIME: 12:00 pm
PLACE: Heaven #2
AT RISE: They are arguing on a cloud
ELSMOOSHO
Look! If you just give me some water…
GEORGE
Oh no here we go with giving free stuff to bums!
ELSMOOSHO
Alright that’s it! You and me in the circle of death.
GEORGE
Come on you know we can’t! You are a can and I’m a bush!
ELSMOOSHO
Fine how about you give me water and we be friends?
GEORGE
Do you really honestly believe that I would fall for that? Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be going to the buffet.
(George leaves.)
ELSMOOSHO
I can’t believe that fool! He doesn’t know what I am. If he would just give me some water, I could grant him a wish. But he doesn’t know that I am magic. I want him to give me water not just to get a wish, but to give it to me because he feels I’m his friend.
(George comes back wiping his mouth.)
GEORGE
Are you still trying to get water?
ELSMOOSHO
Alright how about this, you give me some water and I’ll give you anything you want?
GEORGE
OK, but how can I trust you?
ELSMOOSHO
Let me tell you something. I’ve wanted water for a long time and I will give anything for it. Plus, I’m afraid you will squash me more if I don’t give you your wish.
GEORGE
Well, you do have a point there…So I’ll think about it.
ELSMOOSHO
Well, please hurry, I’m almost dead!
GEORGE
Fine I’ll give you some water.
ELSMOOSHO
Oh please hurry!
GEORGE
But I can’t give unless you give me my wish!
ELSMOOSHO
I can’t until you give me water!
GEORGE
Fine, I’ll give you water!
(George gives water. Elsmoosho drinks water.)
ELSMOOSHO
Alright now I give you your wish!
(Elsmoosho glows green and a garden appears.)
GEORGE
Wow! Thanks a lot!
ELSMOOSHO
You’re welcome. So what do we do now?
GEORGE
Wanna live here with me in the garden?
ELSMOOSHO
Alright! Together we can create a great environment and we can have a separate city!
GEORGE
It’s nice doin’ business with you.
(They shake hands.)
THE END